The Story of Ava, part 1

After months of working on this, I have finally put our story of Ava in writing.  I am so thankful that I have this blog to remember and cherish these memories forever....

When we finally found out that we were having a baby, it had felt like it was a long time coming.  In reality, it was a mere year-and-a-half journey of heartbreak and soul-searching that had lead to this wonderful moment.  I use the word "mere" because I know of so many others whose journey was and is much longer.  When you are going through infertility, every day can hold new hurts, doubts, and fears.  Believing that God has a plan for your life is not always easy, but knowing how much He loves me and wants good things for me sure eased the pain.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord.  "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11

We had just finished 6 months of fertility medications, which had failed to allow us to get pregnant.  It was Christmastime when I found out - and this was not the Christmas gift that I had been hoping for.  I felt that I had become overwhelmed and consumed by the last year-and-a-half, and needed some time to try and forget about having a baby for awhile.  Josh agreed, and we decided to take some time off pursuing pregnancy, take some adoption classes, and pray about our next step.  So January 2010 came, and that is exactly what we decided to do.

I was working quite a bit over the New Year's holiday (like 90 hours in 6 days), and on the last day I woke up from my afternoon nap feeling so nauseated that I was unable to go back to sleep.  It continued through the next day, to the point that my team let me take a nap during morning rounds because I was unable to function.  After that day, I felt much better, although the nausea continued on and off for the next several weeks.  One of those weeks, my attending physician brought me a bottle of wine for getting a lumbar puncture (aka, spinal tap) on an infant that no one else (not even the radiologists with their fancy equipment!) were able to get.  I joked with Josh that I was going to buy some Prevacid for my lingering "gastritis" (nausea) to calm my stomach down before I started in on the lovely bottle of wine.  He joked with me that I probably needed to get a pregnancy test instead.

So the next day I set off to Wal-Mart for some Prevacid and a box of pregnancy tests (I felt like I had already spent a small fortune in First Response tests at that point, but hey, what's another $12?).  I really just did it to make Josh happy, since I knew that there was no way I was actually pregnant.  So I took the test, and sat it on the bathroom counter, but as I did, something caught my eye.  Something that I had never seen before....a line before the control line.  "No way," I thought.  It took a minute for it to register, as I stood there staring at the stick.  The stick just like the hundreds I had taken before, but this one was different.  This one was giving me good news.

I fell to my knees and cried, thanking God for this beautiful, amazing, wonderful, perfect blessing.  This surprise blessing, this perfect gift from above.  I was so overwhelmed I can not even begin to fully explain that moment.  But it was perfect.

The next week we met with our church small group, which consisted of 6 married couples.  It was Thursday night, and we all huddled in the small hotel room of our group leaders, the Indellicates.  We were meeting at this unusual location because one week before this, a little boy had been born and they were chosen to be his parents.  So they were staying in a hotel until paperwork could be finalized.  We all oooo'd and aahhh'd over the tiny little bundle, and against Josh's protest I insisted that he hold Will (after all, he was going to be a daddy in about 9 months).  Josh wanted to tell everyone our good news, but I refused, as I wanted the moment to be all about Will.  Until Josh completed outed one of the other couples and made them give up their good news of expecting a baby in the fall!  (Way to go, Josh.  By the way, this couple is our good friends the Steffens and their daughter, Amelia, is 3 days older than Ava.  We'll get to that later.) 

The next week we went to our first doctor's appointment.  We thought I was approximately 5 weeks along, so you can imagine our surprise when we saw a perfect little heart beating and found out that we were actually 8 weeks!  And the due date was set at September 8, 2010.  (Which meant I actually was pregnant on Christmas!  What a great present, thanks Lord!)

So that next Thursday we announced to our group that we were expecting in the fall; and the next Thursday a new couple joined us (taking the Indellicate's place) and announced that they were due just a few days before us; and the next week another couple announced they were due just a few weeks after us!  Four babies due within a few weeks of each other, four mamas meeting each week getting to go through their pregnancy together.  Wow, God is good.

On April 1 we went in to have our ultrasound, the big one where they tell you that all the parts are formed correctly and are in the right place.  We also found out that we were having a girl, which was no surprise to Josh or my dad, both who had thought that it was a girl from the moment they found out I was expecting.  But since it was April Fools day, we couldn't help but play a little prank.  So when I went to call my parents to announce what we were having, we surprised them with TWINS!  They were shocked to say the least, but I quickly owned up to the lie and told them it was just one, a little girl.  They were thrilled.

Through the next few months I was blessed with 3 amazing and beautiful showers.  One gorgeous bash with all my KC friends thrown by Dena, with help and location (she opened up her lovely home to us!) by Amber.  My cousin Candy threw me a wonderful family shower in her home in Joplin, which was so special not only because it given by my beautiful family, but it was also in my grandmother Eloise's previous home, the home that I spent so much of my childhood in.  I missed my Grandma dearly that day, but her presence was felt in every celebratory moment.  My wonderful church friends, Liz and Brooke, also threw me a great baby shower with the wonderful ladies in my past and present small groups.  They were all simply perfect.

The summer came and was sooo hot.  Not that I even had time to notice, as I was working like a mad woman trying to finish my pediatric ICU and neonatal ICU months before baby A came.  We talked endlessly about names, but could never really decide on one, and had it narrowed down to about 10-15 as my due date approached.  A few weeks before my due date my dad and brother arrived to help us set up her room - no painting needed since it was already brown and we just added some pink and white.  But we finally had the crib and changing table up, and I started washing her clothes and blankets and organizing everything.  It was perfect.

Part 2 to continue the Story of Ava....her birth-day story.