A Little Bit of Joy

Just a memory that I do not want to forget.  It touched my heart more than this little post can even begin to explain....

From the very first day that I found out that I was pregnant, I have prayed Luke 10:27 over Ava's life -

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind..."

because no matter what else possibly happens in her life, I know that if she loves God more than anything else, she will be just fine.  She will be able to get through anything in her life, walk through any circumstance, any problem, any situation, no matter how devastating or difficult, because He will be by her side.  I simply can not think of anything I want more for her life than for her to know Jesus as her very best friend.

I found this book for Ava not too long ago called "God Gave Us You" by Lisa Tawn Bergren.  It's a nice story about a mama polar bear telling her cub where she came from, and on each page she tells her little one that "God gave us you." (For all of you awesome adoptive parents, there is also a "God Found Us You" that I hear is great, too.)

Just like each night before, we finished saying our bedtime prayers with daddy and Ava announced "Aaa-MAIN."  We snuggled in and began reading our bedtime books, and for the first time opened "God Gave Us You."  I could not have found a better book to explain, very simply, my journey to becoming a mother.  The mama bear tells her cub "We wanted you very, very much, and we are so very glad because God gave us you."  She explains how, every night while she was pregnant, she would pray that her baby's body would be healthy, but most of all she prayed that her baby would love God more than anything.  As I read these sweet words, the ones that so closely echo my own desire for Ava to love Jesus, she threw her hand in the air and squealed "I do!"

I stopped to take it in.  "You do?  You love God with all your heart?" I asked.  "Yeah," she replied.  And she turned back to the book, put her pacifier back in her mouth, and turned the page.

I don't think there have been sweeter words uttered from my daughter's lips.

And maybe, just maybe, she has heard me pray this same verse over her every night before she falls asleep.  Maybe she does hear me say each night "Father, I pray that Ava would love You with all of her heart as she grows up."  And maybe that love for God has already started to grow in her heart....  

Washing Your Face with Oil?!

Sounds crazy, doesn't it?  I thought so too when I first heard about it.  It's actually called the "oil cleansing method," although I am not sure that makes it sound any better.  I wrote about it briefly a few months ago, but have been getting soooo many questions about it lately that I thought I would dedicate an entire blog post towards it.....so here it goes.

The basis of this theory is two-fold:
1. Castor oil attaches to and pulls out/off dirt, oil, and makeup.
2. Oil is one of the best anti-aging products out there.

Now, as I read your mind, I know that you are thinking, "This would NEVER work on my skin, it's way too oily!"  But I assure you, you are wrong!  You are exactly the person who needs this!  After years of having extremely oily skin by 2 o'clock each day, and flakey skin in my drier areas due to all the pimple-fighting products that I was using, my skin was in need of some serious help.  I had beautiful skin while I was on birth control, but as soon as I ditched the pill in anticipation of mommy-hood, my skin broke out worse than when I was an awkward 13 year old.  I tried everything - Proactive, Neutrogena, Clinique, Philosophy, and multiple creams from the dermatologist - with drier, more inflammed and angry skin and no improvement in the acne.

I truly wish I would have found this years earlier, and I can guarantee my skin would look younger.  After using this method just once, my skin felt tighter and appeared less red, and my pores were clearer and smaller.  I have noticed that when I do get the occasional pimple, it is smaller, less red, and heals much more quickly.  And I am no longer battling those dry patches.  When you use soaps, ointments, and creams, your skin is stripped of its natural oils, encouraging it to make even more oil.  This is when you find yourself in a vicious cycle of stripping, making more oil, more pimples, more stripping, and more inflammed, irritated skin.  Using oil to cleanse your face pulls out the makeup and dirt from your skin, but leaves it soft and moisturized.

So here is how it works:
You can make your own oil cleanser mixture using a combination of castor oil and a carrier oil.  You should use approximately 20-30% castor oil, depending on how oily or dry your skin is.  Castor oil is drying, so if your skin is oily, use a little more; if it is dry, use a little less.  I use different amounts in the winter and summer depending on the humidity in the air. If you are unsure, just start at 25% and you can adjust from there.  I would warn you not to dry out your skin too much, though.  After you wash your face it should feel taught but not dry, and still feel moisturized. 

Next, you need to add your carrier oil.  You can use olive oil, sunflower oil, or grapeseed oil (or just about any other type of oil, but these are the ones that I know are used most often).  After much researching, I am finally using grapeseed oil because of its anti-aging properties and because it is light weight and doesn't clog pores.  Many people use it as a moisturizer, and I have found myself dabbing it on my face when I need a little extra moisture, too.  Mix these two in a small container, in small amounts.  Oil can grow bacteria (see my next step), so you want to make a new mixture every few weeks. I typically use 0.5 ounces of castor oil plus 1.5 ounces of grapeseed oil.  This will last me 2-3 weeks.

To finish the mixture I typically add a few drops of tea tree oil.  (Don't use too much or you will smell like your grandma's medicine cabinet!)  Tea tree oil fights bacteria, as well as decreases inflammation and redness.  If I get a pimple, I even dab a bit onto a cotton swab, which seems to increase the healing time and decrease the redness.

Now, on to the actual washing part of this process.  First, use hot water to steam open your pores.  I usually do this in the shower, and cover my face with a warm washcloth for a few minutes.  They apply the oil mixture to your face, reapply the warm washcloth, and wipe off.  Easy AND relaxing!  Bonus: you should only do this once a day, any more will dry out your skin too much.  This was difficult for me to get used to at first while my skin adjusted to a once-daily wash, but now I love that I don't have to mess with it in the morning! 

The next question that I am often asked is where to get these oils.  Castor oil and tea tree oil can be found at just about any Target, Wal-Mart, or drugstore.  You may need to ask the pharmacist where they are located, as I have found that my neighborhood Target carries castor oil  behind the pharmacy counter.  The grapeseed oil I found in the beauty section at Whole Foods. 

If you have any other questions, or experience with the oil cleansing method, I would love to hear from you!  Happy cleansing!

I Love Jesus! and other thoughts on Easter....

For myself, the Easter weekend is the most important celebration of the year.  Jesus loves me so much (and you, too), that He went through unspeakable tragedies just to be with me.  Just writing those words brings tears to my eyes.  Who else would allow others to mock them, physically abuse them, and wrongfully accuse them before putting them to death - when, with just a word He could have stopped it all.  But He didn't, because He wants to spend eternity with me.  Because His love for me is deeper than I can ever imagine.  He is alive, He is risen, He has defeated sin and death so that I may live fully and forever.  For that, I could not be more thankful, or more in love with my Savior.

Lately I have been overwhelmed by how much God loves me.  Sometimes, it's because I think of how much I love Ava, how I long to be with her, hug and kiss her, hold her, and save her from everything bad in this world.  I am overwhelmed by how much my heart loves her, and I think "This love is nothing compared to how much my God love me."  That love is just unfathomable.  And other times, when I feel like I am drowning in life's trials, when sadness feels like it will overtake my heart, I run to Him and I feel that overwhelming love.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  

If I love Ava that much, if I would do anything to give her a wonderful life and future, then why should I doubt that God will do the same for me?  I am so thankful that when things are difficult, my Savior never, ever, leaves my side.

Did I mention how much I love Jesus?!

Now on to our Easter Sunday....

So Sunday morning, after a sleepless night of working at the hospital, we took the drive down to Joplin to spend the day with family.  Ava happily watched 2.5 hours of non-stop Elmo, and I napped in the back while Josh drove.  What a beautiful day to celebrate that our Savior is alive!


We arrived to Nickie and Kirths house to celebrate with all of Josh's side of the family.  We were so happy to have EVERYONE there!  With the nieces getting older and being busy like most teenagers, this does not happen often and was a wonderful surprise.

Dalton, Victoria, Micayla, Allie with Ava, Sydnie, and Elizabeth

The nieces hid the plastic eggs in the back yard, and we handed Ava a basket and set her loose.  The Easter egg hunt is a tradition in the Dalton family, and I remember hiding eggs for our nieces and nephew when Josh and I were first married and the kids were little.  Now they are all grown up and seem to think that they are too old for it, but were more than happy to help Ava scour the yard for the eggs.  The excitement on Ava's face as she attempted her first egg-hunt was priceless!

Everyone played volleyball all afternoon, even Ava got to play with dad.

 Ava checked out the dogs in their pin.  She loved those doggies, even gave them kisses!

with Aunt Jill

With her Grandma Dalton

With her Grandpa Dalton

Such a beautiful weekend to celebrate that our Savior is alive, and to celebrate the birthdays of Grandpa Dalton and Jill!  Happy birthday to you both!!

Tummy Troubles

Ava's digestive tract has been causing her problems since just a few weeks of age.  Initially, she was diagnosed with reflux (GERD) and then a milk protein allergy.  A little Zantac and removing all milk products from my diet (Ava breastfed her entire first year of life), and she was a new baby.  No further back arching or crying after feedings, no more gas, and a much less fussy baby was noticed within a week. 

Typically, infants will grow out of significant reflux around 6 months of age, and out of a milk protein intolerance by around a year.  However, we noticed each time that Ava started to grow out of her Zantac dosing, she was waking more at night, actively regurgitating, and even developed a chronic cough.  Even after she was a year of age she continued to have symptoms - and she continues on Zantac even today. 

I will be honest and say that I was not convinced that Ava truly had a milk protein intolerance (which is a gut intolerance to the protein that is found in milk, which is different than a lactose intolerance), mostly due to the fact that I was having to go without cheese, butter, and *gasp* ice cream.  Since she was 4 months of age, I have tried numerous times to reintroduce dairy into my diet (when I was breastfeeding) or her diet, and each and every time has been an epic fail.  The first time was an accident - I started drinking a daily protein shake and did not realize for over a week that it contained casein.  (Whoops.)  The last time was a few weeks ago when we tried to start cheeses and yogurt, but this was another fail.  Gas, diarrhea....I am sure that you are so glad that you decided to read this post right now.  :)  

Which brings us to the latest development in Ava's tummy...gluten.  Last November (Ava was 14 months old), I noticed that Ava was having loose stools and more gas.  We looked closely into her diet, but did not find any hidden sources of dairy.  I chalked it up to teething at the time, and moved on.  At our December 15 month check-up, we noticed that she was starting to drop off of the growth chart.  As an infant, she had always been 50 percentile for her height and weight.  At 12 months, she had dropped to around 30th perentile, but this can be very common due to their increased energy expenditure (ie, running around like a mad woman) and I honestly did not give it a second thought....until December.  At that appointment she continued to drop off the chart, and was around 25th percentile for height and 20th for weight.  I noticed that she was having more diarrhea, gas, and bloating.  She also had a small, red rash that had come and gone since around 7 months of age, but had become more persistent in the recent months.  The thing that really tipped me over the edge was seeing pictures of a naked, bathtime Ava in October and again in December....the obvious change was startling to me.  In October she was chunky all over with an equally chunky tummy; in December her arms, legs, and chest looked thin, but her abdomen was protuberant - she was starting to look like the protein-malnurished children from Africa with Kwashiorkor.  She was 15 months old and had been in 9-12 month clothes since May, and with the exception for around her bloated belly, they continued to fit loosely.

As a pediatrician, I am familiar with the symptoms of failure to thrive (poor weight gain), diarrhea, gas, and rash as being related to gluten sensitivities.  After discussion with Ava's pediatrician (who is amazing!), we decided to cut out gluten containing foods from her diet, which started completely a few weeks into January.  The results have been amazing, to be honest.  Her stools are now, for the first time since around 10 months of age, normal.  She doesn't have gas pains like she did.  Her rash has disappeared.  And her growth has been remarkable.  In just 6 weeks she grew out of those 9-12 month clothes, into her 12-18 month clothes, and is now growing out of those!  At her 18 month check up in March, she had grown so much that she was back to the 50th percentile for height AND weight.

The best parts, and the ones that I was not expecting, were the changes in her behavior and sleep.  Ava has always been a wonderful child with a beautiful personality, but during that time she was having frequent tantrums and could be fussy for no reason.  I really thought that our toddler years were just starting a bit early, but this stuff has decreased dramatically since gluten has been removed from her food.  And those 18 months of sleep deprivation, when everyone insisted that we make her cry it out, and when we tried to let her cry it got worse, and the wakenings became more frequent and crying more severe - well, I am happy to announce that she is now sleeping fully through the night (with the exception of the occasional, quick 4 am shout out).  We knew in our hearts that something was wrong when she was awakening, that she did not feel well and that she needed help to calm down and go back to sleep, and I am so thankful that we listened to our gut.  Just like I tell the parents of my patients, God gives mommy instincts for a reason.**  We are all well rested now, and so thankful for it.  We have even had to wake her up to get her to daycare in the mornings!  She can finally join the "Good Sleepers Club" that her BFF Amelia has been a member of for so long.

So here we are, gluten and dairy free, and Ava growing well and completely thriving.  But a few questions remain: Will she grow out of either of these intolerances?  Does she have Celiac disease?  Will we ever be able to stop that Zantac?  I honestly do not know the answers to these questions, and only more time will tell us more (right now, each time she ingests gluten we know pretty quickly, as the symptoms are very evident).  We have discussed further testing for Celiac with our pediatrician, but this can not be done until she is 2 years old and requires gluten in her diet for months - and that is just not do-able for us with all of the symptoms that it causes.  Thankfully, Whole Foods and Hy-vee have excellent dairy-free and gluten-free sections, and we have been able to find substitutes for just about everything that we eat.  The toughest part for us right now has been finding places to eat out, especially when we want something quick, that does not contain gluten or dairy and that is healthy, too.  (If any of you have suggestions, let me know!  We find ourselves eating Mexican A LOT, especially Chipotle.  And as much as I could eat it every day, I think that Josh feels like he is turning into a burrito.)  Overall, we are so very blessed to have a little one who is healthy, happy, and growing!

**For the record, I do not think that crying it out is necessarily a bad thing, as long as the child is old enough.  Some kids respond really well to it, and it can help them to have healthier sleep habits by learning to fall asleep on their own, whether it be at bedtime or when they wake up in the middle of the night.  But that said, it does not work for everyone, or in every situation.  I fully believe that God gives moms (and dads) instincts, to be able to give their children just what they need to feel nutured and to thrive; and, when something like crying it out does not feel right, it needs to be re-evaluated.  Just wanted to clarify that I do not think that all of you awesome mommies that have let their little ones cry are wrong for doing so!